Dear Traveler,
First, please allow me to apologize for the tone of this message, as it is much harsher than I want to be toward my guests, most of whom are BEYOND fabulous! That said, there is always that one guest whom you have to be very specific for.
I can only accept reservations from guests who are SERENE by nature: people who are looking for a quiet, safe, peaceful place to lodge and will respect my neighbors. If you’d like to stay—and we’d love to have you! —there are conditions of the rental that you need to agree to before placing a reservation.
TO RESERVE, please let me know the reason for your stay, AND, that you will abide the following conditions:
a. THE EXACT ADDRESS of the property is forthcoming in the house manual. This address SUPERSEDES all others, including the one given you from the vacation rental site where you booked your stay. Please let me reassure you that my home is located well within the map bubble when you looked for a place stay. The manual arrives about a week before your stay;
b. No Parties: Although our home is private, it is but one unit in a multi-unit building and I must maintain a calm, quiet atmosphere for my neighbors. Please know that for stays of LESS than 31 nights—NO ONE can be on the premises except for the paid lodgers, not even local friends and family can visit without obtaining written permission—and for stays of 31 nights or LONGER, guests are permitted on a limited basis, please let me know before booking how many guests will likely visit at any one time and how often they’d visit. Also, no loud music, computers, voices and footsteps and quiet hours are in effect from 11pm-9am, including the outdoor spaces. Of course, NORMAL family noises are expected;
c. You are my friend: There are other families living within the building and they are curious about who is coming and going. Should anyone question you for being an unfamiliar face, you need to say that YOU ARE MY FRIEND, NOT A VACATION RENTER—to date, there has never been a problem. Please understand that I am not only trying to keep the peace for my neighbors, but because the current resident-climate is AGAINST vacation renters, I am also trying to stay under the radar so this lodging choice remains available for future guests;
d. Please do not ask my neighbors or building management for assistance of any kind;
e. Please do not allow your child to “cry it out.” Prolonged crying is not considered normal family noises;
f. Since we only share our home whenever we travel, everyday maintenance items, like changing smoke detector batteries, shoveling snow, light bulbs, etc. are handled by the guest;
g. Liability: Our home is privately owned. The host and owner are not responsible for any accidents, injuries, or illnesses that occur while on the premises, nor are they responsible for the loss of personal belongings or valuables of guests;
h. Access: Sometimes we may need access to the property. We try to schedule when guests are not present, but that is not always possible. If we need immediate access and you are not reachable, we will let ourselves in. Also, the housekeeper might come by without notice to put up stock. Of course, in all circumstances, we will knock before entering;
i. Not abiding the conditions of the rental is cause for immediate removal, with no monies refunded;
j. Given that we live in the urban core, our building is under a monthly pest control contract which occurs the first Wednesday of each month, anywhere between 1-4pm. The technician will knock before entering, but if you’re not home, the tech will come inside and do what needs done to re-bait pest stations. I do not allow them to spray inside the home. Please remember, if you are home, and if you are asked, you are a friend of Gloria.
Again, please forgive the tone of this missive! I’ve been blessed with the most wonderful guests coming through the doors of my home. This agreement is just my way of keeping things safe and peaceful for all involved so that vacation renting remains a viable lodging option for travelers in America.
Wishing you all the best, Gloria